It's hard for me to explain this absolute dividing line that has separated myself with being a father from an irresponsible self serving mook that I used to be. It happened instantly and was nothing short of becoming a man of responsibility no holds barred on my son's first day of life.I can tell you parenthood is an interesting stage in growing up if you so choose it, or should it fall on you like a ton of bricks then you have my sympathy and welcome to the adventure of your life brother. So here's my advice... "Want it, rather than fall into it." You'll be better off that way. It clarified what was important over my arrogance, my ignorance, as well as some pretty asinine concepts that I had as a teenager and young adult. All the while I was chafing under my Father's love and Marine like supervision during those years, I actually let some of it sink in. I now find myself repeating some time honored fatherly commands while my eleven month old gurgles defiance. Ahh, the circle repeats. I guess I could equate parenthood as receiving a "rest of your life" pass to the going ons behind the Pirates of the Caribbean attraction in Disneyland after riding the boat for so many years.
I love my son. He's a real joy and a blessing. He's a gentle heart and a fearless soul. My Wife and I have made sure to emphasize sharing and love with him at every turn. I've been out of work for near a year now and in that time I have received something most fathers never get and that is time spent with their sons all day long.
I am getting to watch him grow into his personality at ground zero rather than a few hours between here and there whilst coming home from work and going back the next day. It took a long time for my wife to recover from her C-section and some pretty far reaching complications have kept me at her side since the birth of our boy. We're lucky for the love of her family and my father as they came through for us at every turn, I am grateful for that support while I cared for her and our newborn son and I will cherish it till the day I die.
I've been working on various art projects over the months of this blog's inception from Stephen R. Donaldson's works to pin-up art, but these are self serving ventures. For long time I have wanted to give my wife a gift of a children's book, but have failed to do so. She loves Winnie the Pooh and I'm a big Godzilla freak, which is one of the perks of why we married. She and I are both at heart simply seven year olds trapped in adult bodies and are happy to have found each other. Not to say we are not responsible adults... we just enjoy kid things as well.
So I've begun on Pudgy Blue or Roo; I haven't decided on a title as of yet. Basically it is a nod towards both of our beloved pets. Mine was an Old English Sheep Dog and her dog was a Malamute.( Word of advice Old English Sheep Dogs nip. They are good with kids but they do tend to bite as a herding reflex I presume. Malamutes are extremely vocal and loving. They like to work so get a sled or something they can pull.)
I figure I will need about thirty pages between art and story for a finished book to present to an agent or publisher. Getting it published should be an interesting challenge to overcome. Luckily my wife has a friend who is an editor at People Magazine so I will have to harass her when it's finished with pleading emails and bribes of royalties. :)
